Trust - lesson 2

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…”

In 2002, my wife of 25 years was diagnosed with breast cancer. Only those who have suddenly been brought face to face with imminent death truly understand the massive upheaval this causes in your life.

We talked about the treatments she would face and the trauma they would inflict on her and our family’s lives. We talked about the future, for her, me and our kids, from the aspects both of surviving and of not. She joked a lot. I tried, but just couldn’t, quite.

Mentally and emotionally I began disengaging. I began thinking about and focusing on a future without her. She teased me about the line of women that would be waiting for me outside her funeral, and that seed germinated to become fantasies that I indulged in to provide relief from the fear and anxiety.

I don’t remember when or where, but God confronted me in a very clear mental picture – a vision, if you will. I saw Jesus, with his arms around Yvonne, walking through a dark valley. Jesus looked at me and I knew he was telling me that if I wanted to walk with him, it was to be through that valley of the shadow of death. He made no promise to me that Yvonne would recover, yet in His presence there could be no escapist fantasies. Being with Jesus during that time meant walking with Yvonne through the valley, completely vulnerable to pain, fear, and loss, but also knowing with certainty that her life was in His hands.

Gratefully, five years later, after diet changes, chemotherapy, and mastectomy,Yvonne is free from cancer, though there’s no certainty that it will not come back.

We (especially we American Christians) tend to think that the sign of God’s favor on our lives is that everything is going well, that we don’t have problems. No…

God shows his favor by walking through the difficult times with us, and bearing the burden of the pain, the uncertainty, and the fear.