Updates on Yvonne

Yvonne has been spending hours each day answering emails from family and friends, so I set up a blog for her to post all her updates to. That way people can ask questions in their comments and everyone else can see them and the answers and hopefully she won't have to repeat everything over and over. You can find her updates here.

You are what you eat

Bill Cosby recently wrote a book titled “I Am What I Ate...and I'm Frightened!!!” in which he describes his horror of having discovered what the food he ate all his life had done to him. Medical research in recent years is waking us up to the fact that what we put into our bodies affects how these bodies function. When my wife was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2002 she began researching nutrition and as a result our household diet transformed literally overnight: No processed foods; few, if any cooked foods; no meat and no dairy. Not only did we become vegans overnight, we were raw vegans – as extreme a diet as I’ve ever seen. ("Vegan" in diet only – not ethical persuasion. There’s the time I went into a vegan restaurant wearing my black leather jacket…)

Although it didn’t cure Yvonne’s cancer, within a few months my cholesterol level had dropped from the danger zone to low normal, my blood pressure was back to normal, I lost 25 pounds (back to my young-man weight), and experienced my first allergy-free spring in 30 years. Clearly, what I was putting into my body made a difference.

I began to suspect that this principle also applied mentally and spiritually when I walked into our family room one evening where the kids were watching a sitcom - Friends or Will & Grace, can’t remember which – and saw them blithely absorbing language, images, ideas and morals from a completely godless world view. As I listened to the dialog I had this mental image of the television as a huge sewer pipe, pouring filth into my home. And the more I started paying attention to what was on television, like Bill Cosby, I became frightened.

Even then it wasn’t until recently that I had a blinding glimpse of the obvious, when I read Jesus’ words “I am the bread of Life” and really made the connection: Jesus is saying that He is the food that gives my spirit the nutrition I need for true life. In contrast, so much of what I read, watch or otherwise sit and soak up is mental and spiritual junk food – or worse, poison to my spirit.

I’ve started taking inventory, not just of the quality of things I feed my mind but also the quantity, comparing those things to the amount of time I spend in the Bible, in the works of other Christians, and time spent praying. It’s no longer a mystery as to why I feel spiritually stunted. If genuine Christianity truly consists of relationship with God – and I do believe it does – then it’s no wonder any more why I feel such a stranger to God since it’s obvious (I would have thought) that you can’t have a relationship with someone you never spend time with.

I’ve begun making changes in my spiritual "diet" and it is making a difference. And I can’t help but wonder what would happen if all of us who call ourselves followers of Jesus stopped feeding from the same menu as the rest of the world and ate only the Bread of Life; maybe then we really could be, as Paul said, “blameless, sincere and wholesome, living in a warped and diseased world, and shining there like lights in a dark place”.

“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.”
Phil. 4:8

We now return you to your regularly scheduled life…

Three weeks ago my wife gathered all our extended family together and gave us the news that the pain she had been feeling was in fact caused by her breast cancer having returned and metastasized throughout her upper body. The doctors resist giving a prognosis because they can’t say with any certainty how any individual’s body will respond to the treatments. Maybe years, maybe months.

It’s one of many cruel ironies that the specter of death often hovers closest to those who are most full of life. Yvonne is one of those rare individuals who makes everything all right just by walking into a room – or a life, as she did mine. (I’ve always said that I’ve never understood what lapse of judgment on her part caused her to fall in love with me, but it’s the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me and I’ve been grateful for it ever since.) If there were any justice in the world, cancer would only happen to grumpy, crotchety, negative people like me.

Yes, it has thrown my faith a curve ball. How can you possibly reconcile something like this with a God who is, as James Moffat translates, the “Divine Yes”? How does this square with my belief that God created us to be, and desires us to be whole people, physically and emotionally as well as spiritually? I don’t know. Do I still believe in God’s goodness? Yes. Do I believe this is a sign of God’s displeasure? No. Do I believe this happened for a reason, that God allowed it or caused it? I don’t know; I tend to think these things just happen, like being caught in a rain storm without an umbrella. Do I have hope? Sometimes, though more often I’m afraid. Still, I believe that all of life - from cradle to grave - is sacred and held in God’s hands. Should it come to that end, though, I also believe that the end of life in this realm of time and space is not utter finality but simply the doorway into the presence of the Eternal.

But it hasn’t come to that. As Yvonne herself keeps reminding us, she’s not dead yet. While there’s life there’s hope, and a battle to be fought, and battles are only won if those who are fighting them believe they can be won; the surest way to lose the battle is to believe it is already lost. We will be grateful for each day we have to live and fight together.

The fullness thereof...

July was an incredibly full month (attested to by the span between posts). On top of the normal 4th of July family get togethers and Newberg’s Old Fashioned Festival – itself an occasion for family get-togethers – this July I hosted Churchbass.org’s annual Bassapalooza at our church, Newberg Friend’s Church. Approximately 25 bassists who are either part of church worship teams or otherwise involved in Christian-oriented musical ministries, gathered on the hottest weekend of the year to worship, fellowship, play with each others’ toys, commiserate, and generally generate as much low-frequency noise as possible – which we did. During the “All Bass Orchestra Jam” I went into the church sanctuary directly above our gathering, and could feel the floor vibrating under my feet. A successful weekend by all counts.


It was very cool that we had people from all parts of the country in attendance, but the highlight for many there was getting to meet Xeno, our Greek Churchbass pastor, for the first time. Yvonne and I had the pleasure of meeting Xeno and his beautiful wife Anna in Greece in 2003, but the others in attendance had only known him through his pastoral postings on Churchbass.org. Xeno got to hang around and spend an extra day with my family and me, blessing us yet again with his grace, humor, wisdom, and wonderful insights into walking with God.


The weekend after Bassapalooza ended, Old Fashioned Festival began, and this year featured local musicians more than they have in the past and I played three times over the weekend with two different groups, Nate Macy and the QLO and Lori Willcuts.

A few days later my oldest and dearest friend (with whom I share vices: he introduced me to latakia, I introduced him to scotch) was in town for a few hours so we were able to share a taste of Dufftown's finest and get caught up again.


And somewhere in there, my baby girl packed up and went to spend a year at Faith Academy in Manila, just when I was looking forward to having some time to spend with her. With number 2 leaving for college and now number 3 out of the country, it's empty nest time. Wow, it's quiet...

I am the Light of the world

This isn’t at all the kind of thing I anticipated writing about here, but as someone once said, life is what happens when you’re making other plans.

A year ago February my mother passed away from a brain tumor, from diagnosis to death in 4 months. Then in October my father-in-law, the most wonderful and godly of men, died suddenly from a burst aneurysm. As hard as those were to go through, two weeks ago I experienced what is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done - sitting for two days with a close relative who was suicidal. I have never witnessed such despair. I have never seen such deep emotional pain and anguish. I have never before seen someone with absolutely no hope or expectation of anything good, nothing to look forward to but more emotional and physical pain. In short, I have never, ever, seen such darkness.

In these two weeks, however, I have seen light begin to break into the darkness in small, tentative but tangible ways, and I have come to believe that when Jesus said he was the Light of the World he meant it literally. When He is truly present in our lives there is an inner light that manifests itself as peace, hope, love, forgiveness. When those things are driven from our lives by our own actions or the actions of others, the result is a darkness that is as tangible as it is terrible.


Joh 1:4 In Him was life, and the life was the light of men;
Joh 12:46 I have come as a Light to the world, that everyone who believes into Me may not remain in the darkness.
1Jo 1:5 And this is the message which we have heard from Him, and we proclaim to you: God is light, and no darkness is in Him, none!
(Literal Translation of the Holy Bible)

Sir, we wish to see Jesus.

A few weeks ago Out of Ur, Leadership Magazine’s weblog, posted an entry about an article written by Hemant Mehta, otherwise known as the eBay Atheist. In the article Mehta describes his fascination with Christian Media, and concludes with the following summary:

Christianity works best for non-believers when we hear stories that sound like something we would see or do. Joel [Osteen] tells me to not be dishonest by telling a story from his college days (Hey, I went to college, too!) and then supports his message with a story from the Bible. Dobson tells me I shouldn’t be dishonest because Proverbs 6:16-19 says so (as he does in the April issue of Charisma). Period. Who would I be more inclined to listen to?

What Mehta describes are two common ways that Christians present their faith:
- The way of Pragmatism: The attempt to validate Christianity by demonstrating that following Christian principles helps avoid problems, while not following Christian principles will cause problems. While personal experience is a great way to share your faith, this particular anecdote leaves me missing something.
- The way of Legalism: Instituting and following the rules for the sake of the rules, and obligating others to follow them or suffer the consequences. But again, something is missing…

Granted, I only have Mehta’s description to go on, but what appears to be missing in these two accounts is any mention of the person of Jesus.

And therein lies what I believe is a third and better way, a way that puts Jesus front and center, the way of Love: To love people with Christ’s love in such a way that people see Him through us and fall in love with Him. After all, comprehending how much God loves us compels us to love Him in return. We want to please Him; we want to be like Him. We want others to know and love Him. We want Him to be honored, and respected.

The world does not need more principles to live by, nor does it need more rules to keep. The world is desperately in need of the healing and transforming love that comes only in the person of Jesus Himself, and that only happens when we, His body, His church, act out His love to people around us.

Having said this, however, I confess that I don’t do this. I’m afraid that far too often it isn’t Jesus that people see in me. I’m fully aware that I fall terribly short of having the qualities that drew people to Jesus, and too often I’m more likely to be taken for a pharisee.

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love.

For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus' sake. (2Co 4:5)

Four things...

Well, I got tagged by Mauri so I'm it; here goes:

Four jobs I’ve had:
1. Music store sales guy
2. Belt puller, Weyerhauser Lumber Co.
3. Photographer
4. Camera store sales guy

Four movies I could watch over & over:
1. The Russians are Coming, the Russians are Coming…
2. Lord of the Rings
3. Princess Bride
4. Any Marx Brothers movie

Four books I’ve read over and over:
1. Lord of the Rings
2. C.S. Lewis’s Space Trilogy
3. Brother Cadfael Mysteries
4. Any Patrick McManus

Four places I’ve lived:
1. Klamath Falls, Oregon
2. Manila, Philippines
3. Capernwray, England
4. Newberg

Four places I’ve vacationed:
1. Seoul, Korea
2. Colonial Williamsburg
3. Ireland
4. Greece

Four TV shows I love(d):
1. M*A*S*H
2. WKRP in Cincinatti
3. Dick Van Dyke
4. Extreme Makeover, Home Addition

Four favorite dishes:
1. BBQ chicken, cooked (literally) on the streets of Manila
2. #47 at the Golden Leaf Thai restaurant (Steamed Brocolli in Peanut Sauce)
3. Crème Brule in the Ramada Inn restaurant in Fargo, ND
4. Leche Flan

Four websites I visit daily:
1. Victor Davis Hanson
2. Stupid Videos
3. Christian Headlines
4. Talkbass.com

Four places I’d rather be right now:
1. Santorini
2. Rhodes
3. Cascade Head, Oregon coast
4. Bagby Hot Springs

Four things that make me warmly happy:
1. Being in the wilderness, away from any visible signs of civilization
2. Last movement of Beethovens 9th Symphony
3. Hocus Pocus by Focus
4. Having all my kids together, listening to them laughing and telling stories

Tag, You're it:
Nate Macy - because he's about the only other blogger I know who hasn't been tagged, yet. And if he's irritated by this, as I suspect he will be, he can blame his uncle Mauri :)