Joy

It has been almost a year since Yvonne’s cancer was found to have moved into her brain. When her health collapsed after radiation we were certain she would be gone by now, but once more she has rallied and cheated what looked like certain death. This time, though, she survived wounded, weak and unable to resume a full life.

Even now cancer is usually a death sentence. And like any death sentence, cancer whips you off the fast lane and drops you onto the side of the road to wait for the inevitable, while life passes by. No more thoughts for the future, no plans, no goals… suddenly you’re done, except for the waiting.

After wallowing in self-pity, then emerging into the realization that – as bad as this is – we could be in much more horrific situations, my question then became: Is there life in the Valley of the Shadow of Death? During those times in our lives when things are bad and God seems so distant, is he really holding back or are we – am I, by my self-pity, anger and resentment preventing him from reaching out to me? Does God bestow grace and mercy in these times that seem too dark for any light to penetrate?

The testimony of saints and martyrs and ordinary Christians alike through the centuries is a resounding Yes: God does meet and care for his people in times like these – perhaps, even, dare we say, especially in times like these. I love the way pastor David Wayne put it:

“Christianity is a faith born in the midst of suffering and it is
uniquely made for suffering. And the Christian faith is a
joyful faith so it seems to me that finding the greatest joy
in the midst of the greatest suffering is the Christian's
calling and I take it to be mine.”

I have to be honest: I’ve been trying to write this post for three weeks, not being able to finish it because I haven’t wanted to admit that I couldn’t get there from here, so to speak. Not until tonight, as I was trying one more time to sort it out, did I finally see why: It’s because I’ve spent my Christian life trying to substitute happiness for joy - which doesn’t work, obviously; happiness is dependent on circumstances, and there’s no way anyone can manufacture real happiness in the Valley of the Shadow of Death.

Joy, however, is the result of the Holy Spirit taking up residence in our lives and happens anytime, anywhere we allow Him access, no matter what the circumstances. It is God’s desire to walk with us through these hard times; joy is the response in our hearts to the nearness of his presence.

“Even if I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I won’t be afraid. You are with me; your rod and your staff are a comfort to me.”